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this weekend i am at moms.. yesterday we celebrated my birthday. that was almost as much fun as celebrating it at dads.. we didnt do much..it felt like just another day. today we whent to the moa to watxch a movie but the only movie out of our three tops picks.. we got to the movie about a half an hour early and waited outside for it to finish... just as i was about to walk into the theater thinking everyone was out..ben walked out.... it caught me really offguard.. i wouldnt have recognized him if his eyes had changed.. he didnt recognize me though....as soon as i saw him all the memories it took so long to froget came back before i had time to blink and before i knew it i ran into a couple of other people..oops.. before the movie started i tried to think about everything good that has happened since i removed his picture from my wall/locker..then i realized, after seven yrs, im still not over him..and evrything i had planned for cant be put on hold... right now im a bit confused.. i dont feel the same way that i did last yr so whats the big deal? .. theres soemone else not as far fetched that makes me secretly smile whenever i thnk of him and in class at the thougt of him it feels like im going down a rollercaoster..minus the scary part... when i ralk to him it just comes naturally.. its almost never awkward when we talk which is great.. but with ben.. it was the opposite.. i never got an adrenaline rush from the thought of him..til today the first time i saw him in three yrs.. he was hot!..he looked the same but taller and slimmer.. but.. ben made me feel bad often... and the other guy never has.. if ne thing he has made me feel better about myself..if you arent following my train of thoughts thats ok becuase i was just thinking it through.. usually id have called kitty but she isnt picking up her phone.... o well... i cant tell you who this pther guys is yet but you already know...in the back of ur mind from last yr.. ttyl bye ashwee
love you bunches
TIF