my life is a bowl full of cherries

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Sinking ship

To the sinking captain:

I don't know what happened to us. I never did anything to hurt you. You lied from the beginning. I allowed myself to change with you. I became everything I never wanted to be. It became a sinkhole. No matter how hard I tried I just got pulled further down. I lost myself. Forgot who I was. Disregarded the red flags and alarms in my head because I thought we were in it together. Something about the way you commanded of me, the things I was unwilling to give, the face you made when I said no, the guilt trips you threw me; I can't believe you blame me. You said all the right things. It was always a give and take relationship. I gave, you took. That as totally unhealthy. I never lied to you. You put me through so much. When we were together you demanded i tell you I didn't think you were right for me. You knew it was going to end. You egged it on, but you still place the failure on my shoulders. You'd say one thing and then the next day say the opposite. You seem as unsure as I was. You don't and never have respected me. You made fun of me, my choices, and my beliefs. I never once thought you weren't good enough for me, just not "right" for me. After the past three months I can see you are no good for me. You made me feel worthless, caused me to cry on a daily basis. You have no hope for the future. I stayed friends with you because I care a lot about you. I wanted to make sure you were doing okay. But you changed. You no longer care about anything but your drugs and alcohol. Its really too bad. You could have done a lot with your life. Instead you threw it away. You knew how to make a girl feel like you actually cared- most days. You were just dragging me down with your sinking ship. I'm tired of being drug downwards when I have so many people trying to hold me up.

I know you've been a floundering fish for a while but I can't save you. You scare me, hurt me, and insult me continuously. It's time for me to stand up for myself. It's not fair to me yo stick around for the sake of someone to doesn't appreciate me.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home