confused...

sry if ive been a bitch lately ive been tring to figure some things out. especially... ervin..sry..:( i didnt realize i was being a bitch, but then again i also didnt realize how late it was this morning when i got out out bed, lost my balance, ran into a plastic hamper that was just easliy put together, i broke off one of the posts and it ended up between my chest and the wall as i ran into the wall..that hurt like a bitch and still does..just and example of how i do things and dont realize what i didnt until after it happens...then it hurts..i havent written in a while because ive been trying to firgure out how to write a letter to ben telling im tht i love him but its the old him i love. telling him i want to be friends and stuff that has happened over the last three yrs and what im like now. I dont want him to feel like im a psycho...yet...at least not until he talks to me.. problem i think my best friend likes him..she doesnt know ne thing about what my intentions are she doesnt know ne thing about the past 7 yrs she still thinks i hate him..i dont really talk to her about those kinds of things because she doesnt understand as well as i wish she could. i dont know of ne one id really feel comfortable talking about ne of this except for my other best frieds kitty but she cant give me ne advice even if she understands..help if ya can..in a few days i will post the letter i have typed right now and you can give me ur suggestions. right now the starting sentence is "over the last four months i have come to the conclusion that i am in love with you".. i will leave you with that i told ashley i would go to bed sooner and its getting perty late..ne ways...
sry again..if you have ne comments on how to change the letter so there isn't such a strong blow to the head in the very first sentence..thanx
G'night
always and forever
TIF